Friday, October 25, 2019

Legacies - You Remind Me Of Someone I Used To Know

Discussing Ep. 2.3

So my random thoughts on this episode.

It was a mixed bag. Some good, some not so good.

Right from the get-go, I didn't understand this yearly tradition of vandalizing the opposing school's property. That seemed random and a bit contrived as a means to introduce the new sheriff.

Speaking of which, there's a new sheriff in town.....like literally!


And all we got from her was that Matt Donovan was no longer there and she had some big shoes to fill. What big shoes? It was funny how she was talking about the legendary Sheriff Donovan and all she heard was how great Sheriff Donovan was! What did Matt ever do that was legendary, other than show up with really bad hair?


It was a bit of a sad write-off for the Matt Donovan character. Like, he was simply explained away as just no longer being there. No transfer to another district....no getting married again and touring Europe or anything like that. He's just...gone! For a guy who took such pride in protecting Mystic Falls from supernatural danger and for everything that he endured and lost in that town, I figured he deserved a better send off than that!

Anyway, it was actually a nice callback to Sheriff Liz, bringing a sense of TVD familiarity with this new Sheriff Mac. It's apparent that she will become Alaric's new love interest and I already feel sorry for her because that means she's going to die before she and Alaric find any kind of happiness! Seriously, Alaric should just become a monk or something because he dooms any woman that he falls in love with.


I suppose that the football game was just a vehicle to showcase Vardemus' philosophy in regard to supernatural beings interacting with the human world, but I was really hoping to see a glimpse into his new course where he's teaching students advanced attack magic. Nevertheless, I liked how he was drawing a line between his philosophy and that of Alaric's where Vardemus clearly sees how supernatural beings are...well....super! It's sort of like the whole Superman conundrum: why try to live life like a normal human when you clearly possess abilities that surpass human limits? With such abilities, shouldn't such beings be higher than humans? Are they not gods living among men? I could see that being the path that Vardemus takes with the school. What I didn't get was why they wrote it that Caroline herself was the one who interviewed and hired Vardemus? That seemed like such a random name-drop. I cannot see Caroline being that taken with a guy like Vardemus that she gave the stamp of approval for his being the headmaster, especially when he would be interacting with her daughters. Then again, she could be idiotic sometimes so maybe I can.

Of course, the ending was....interesting.


What the fuck was that? I will say that I'm intrigued as to what Vardemus is and what his overall plan is for the students of Salvatore School and his connection to Malivore. Did he devour that Shunka carcass? Why? Does he grow stronger by doing so? How much protein does Shunka meat have? I like that they left this mystery behind.

As for the Shunka itself, I was disappointed that we didn't learn more about it.


It actually kind of reminded me of the Zuul monsters from Ghostbusters:



Although it was clearly a plot device used to bring Rafael back (I mean....how convenient that a monster shows up all of a sudden that eats nothing but werewolves), I would have been interested in the backstory of this creature. As we learned on TO, the werewolves originated as a curse put upon a tribe of Indigenous people by Inadu (aka The Hollow). I could see other Indigenous tribes seeing these werewolves as being dangerous and either creating or conjuring up this creature as a means of protection. I wish they had somehow linked the backstory of this creature to The Originals just to give it a sense of lineage.

Speaking of werewolves....why did Hope have to get naked to turn into one? Since when is that how it works? At first, I thought she was taking her clothes off because she didn't want to rip those clothes she had on and was intending on getting back into them once she changed back into human form. But she took another pair of clothes with her and put those on when she changed back, so why go through the trouble of stripping before transforming? Not to mention the fact that she was in a hurry, so why spend any amount of time undressing? She might as well have had stripper music playing in the background at this point! I guess it was to make things awkward/funny between her and Landon but it felt unnecessary.



This is a scene that kind of made me laugh. First of all, how long did it take for the ambulance to get to the school? Keep in mind that the game occurred on a sunny afternoon when Ethan got his arm broken. When he got carried away on a stretcher, it looked like the dead of night! Fuck...how slow was that ambulance that it 3 hours to get there? And why take Ethan away in an ambulance for a broken arm in the first place? Clearly Alaric could have taken him to the hospital himself or his own mother could have done it since she was there. Otherwise, won't they get charged extra for the ambulance (I don't know how it works in the States but here in Canada, you get charged for riding an ambulance if you could have gone to the hospital yourself. And the charge is pretty hefty!). 

And then his sister is coming out of the hospital and talking to Hope as though Ethan was undergoing open-heart surgery! Like, it doesn't take THAT long to put a cast on, does it? They really over-dramatized this whole part.

What I did like though was that they're delving into Josie's dark side. I'm glad she's fighting it because she should but I do hope she is tempted further into it by Vardemus. Given Lizzie's fragile mental state, I could see Vardemus turning both sisters into Twins of Evil, creating a lot of heartache for Alaric in the process.

Speaking of Lizzie, though I figured Sebastian was a vampire, I have to say I was intrigued that he's apparently a figment of Lizzie's imagination! Or is he? That's the mystery I guess. What I could do without is having MG hover around her like some little puppy looking for attention. The guy is pathetic! And on a side note....since when can vampires speed read? I know they're fast but they're not Superman or the Flash for crying out loud!

What's worse was when Lizzie had a moment of attraction towards MG.


No! No, no, no, no, no!!! While this is the storyline that I have the least interest in, I will say that they should write Lizzie as being more firm in her feelings. She should not be attracted to MG, no matter how good and nice and kind he is. If anything, those qualities should dissuade her because she sees that as him being weak. Her character is one that seemingly follows many a girl's character at that age.....they go for the asshole who treats them like crap because they mistake the asshole's arrogance for confidence! That's not conjecture or even believing a popular stereotype. That really happens! I could see her sleeping with him out of desperation or even pity and MG taking that as a sign that they're meant for each other, causing more pain for him at the end. But they should really keep Lizzie's feelings on the matter clear. Sure, let her be nice to MG but don't let her fall for him because he's being a nice guy. Let MG grow a pair and have the courage to walk away, knowing that there is someone else out there for him. They serve the audience better by getting that message across!

As for Hope, Landon and Josie, I think this episode should be the last where they're dragging this on. It's already getting old where Hope and Landon interact with each other and Landon having this "feeling" about who Hope is but he can't put his finger on it. I hope something gives in this and perhaps Josie's jealousy causes her to do something to Hope, essentially starting a war between the two.

Like I said, they left some good mysteries behind, some more intriguing than others. I'm hoping they can bring a good pay off to it all.


Thursday, October 24, 2019

Riverdale - Dog Day Afternoon


Discussing Ep. 4.3

- "That place is crawling with dealers and fiends." Fiends? Who talks like this? I'm surprised he didn't say villains!

- How convenient. Mad Dog's little brother, who we've never seen or even heard of before, becomes the impetus for Archie to move on turning that boxing gym into a youth centre. Who is paying for all this, by the way?

- How dare you, Jughead? How dare you reference The Dead Poets Society....a film starring the late, great Robin Williams. A film that inspires and elicits emotion to the point that it's one of the few films that actually gets me choked up. It's up there in my top 5 all time great films. You sully the name of this great film by speaking it on this substandard show!


- Jughead brought a typewriter? Look, I'm all for old school technology.....but that's fucking asinine! And it's not even nice looking. It's like something from the 70's.

- If you're going to bring a typewriter, get one of those old-timey ones. Have some style!


- What? Okay, so....WHAT A COINKIDINK! Jughead's roommate is none other than Moose. But he's no longer Moose. He's....Marmaduke? That's the name of a dog!

- "What about school, Archie?" I half expected Archie to respond "I don't go to school, mom. And yet I pass all my classes and am in line to graduate so, don't worry about it!"

- Are you fucking serious, Archie? What the fuck was that look you gave your mom when she showed concern about how much it will cost? HOW IN THE WORLD DO YOU PLAN TO PAY FOR ANY OF THIS SHIT?!?  IT'S A LEGITIMATE QUESTION!!!!

- Yes! Evelyn is back....I hope!

- Okay, I don't get the set design of this FBI agency at all.



They have rotary phones. ROTARY PHONES!!! No laptops. No computers. They have rotary phones and a Rolodex! Kids today have no idea  how to work rotary phones. And dare I say, rotary phones don't work with current phone systems. How is this a top-notch FBI headquarters and they have no computers or any other modern technology but they have rotary phones?!? I didn't know the FBI budget was so low!

- Fuck you Cheryl and Toni. You DO NOT disparage Nana Rose! So what if she interrupted your make out session. You two make out every 2 hours!

- Shit! I forgot. Cheryl and Toni are taking care of Polly's twins. Why...again? How are they in any way shape or form qualified to do that? Who would leave infants in the care of these two empty-headed dimwits?

- Ya gotta love Nana Rose!

- Are you fucking serious?!? They are going to raise $40,000.....WITH A CAR WASH?!?

- Every suburban housewife is lining up thanks to half naked teenagers washing their cars. Somehow, I'd imagine that's insulting to suburban housewives. Then again, maybe I'm wrong.

- Plus, did they seriously end Reggie's storyline? That was it? He smashed his dad's car and had a heart-to-heart and suddenly years of abuse ends? Fuck this show!

- How is it that Ronnie is going to Harvard....running a successful nightclub....and yet she figured they could raise $40,000 with half naked teenagers washing cars in some backwater town in a day? A child thinks like that, not a teenager going to Harvard. She's an idiot!

- What the fuck happened to Edgar? I get that he's a cult leader and all of that but he suddenly went from Hippie Edgar to Cape Fear Edgar!

- You need $250,000, Edgar? Why not do a car wash?

- "I thought it was puerile. Tawdry waste of time. I mean...it's pulp. Not to mention, your prose reads like a pre-teen journal-ling about his abandonment issues than a coherent narrative." I'm sure that was a legit criticism of this show that they decided to insert into the dialogue.

- A night nurse Toni found online. I ask again....who would trust these two morons to take care of infant twins?

- Son of a diplomat? I'll give it to them....that's an interesting protection for Bret.

- So now Moose is bi. I'd wish they'd make up their minds.

- What incredible timing by Polly. How did she know where Betty even was?

- OH, FUCK OFF!!!


So with nothing but verbal instructions from Charles, scissors and a hair pin, Betty defuses a bomb! Fuck this show!

- Really, Ronnie? You can't come up with $250,000? You people seem to come up with copious amounts of money by doing absolutely nothing so why can't you come up with this amount?

- And thank you for proving my point with the eggs, Ronnie!

- And how did Betty get the school bus?

- Why this sudden shift in Edgar's personality? Why go from cult leader to surfer psychopath?

- NICE!!! Well done, Evelyn! Well done! Now hit Archie in the head with a beam and I'll love you forever!

- What the fuck? I was JUST beginning to have some respect for Bret as a villain while he was taunting Jughead. But when Jug goes all tough guy, Bret's face is nothing but fear! It's disappointing!


- "I own that jail. I come and go as I please." Then why go there at all?!?

- While I'm somewhat impressed that they're finally addressing how and why a Latino guy has the non-Latino name of Hiram Lodge, it's a tad bit late! They waited 4 seasons to do this? 

- I'll say this, I'm glad that Hiram (or Jaime, whatever his real name is) is getting the upper hand on Veronica!

- Aaaaaaand Stupid Archie is back!

- I hope Dodger and his buddies beat the shit out of Archie! Maybe they'll beat the stupid out of him too!

- Of course. I forgot. Archie can beat 5 guys with nothing but a bat in his hand and come out of it with minimal scars. Because, he is....after all....



- "Evelyn is going to drive the bus full of Farmies off of a cliff as a distraction while he takes off in his rocket!"


That sounds so stupid it's actually brilliant!

- This Cheryl storyline is completely and utterly pointless. It's just filler and not even good filler at that. And I think that look by Toni is actually the actress expressing disappointment and disgust at having to be a part of this crap!


- So when did Evelyn turn into a beatnik revolutionary?

- "Those bitches!" Ya gotta love Evelyn!

- I gotta say, even all beat up, Alice still looks hot!

- So now Betty's dressed like a beatnik revolutionary and so everybody listens to what she says. Never mind that they saw her get bonked in the head by Evelyn the night before. Never mind that she's wearing the clothes that Evelyn wore and Evelyn is nowhere to be seen!

- What the fuck is this?


So Edgar is Evel Knievel now?

- Why is Alice trying to stop Edgar? Just let him take off in his rocket that he built himself....see how far he gets! He'll most likely die anyway.

- So Weatherbee was part of the Farmies and he got his pinkie finger cut off? This makes no sense.

- What a fucking horrible way for Edgar to end! This was bullshit! I can't....I can't even....


- Veronica Luna. Oddly enough, that sounds fitting.

- Ya know what? FUCK YOU CHERYL!!!! FUCK YOU FOR KILLING THAT INNOCENT RAT WITH A BOOK! FUCK YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL! Where is PETA when you need them?

- A video cassette? Where the hell is Jughead going to find a VCR to play that thing?

What a horrible ending to the Farm storyline. Edgar deserved better than this. And yet, I'm not surprised at all. And what about Evelyn? I hope she sticks around somehow.

I'm beginning to realize that Riverdale is sort of like the TV version of Joel Schumacher's Batman & Robin. It's just horrible. My only entertainment is making fun of it, so I guess that's something!