Riverdale - Hereditary

Discussing Ep. 4.6

- Oh, fuck you, Riverdale!

Are you trying to compete with Batwoman or something. It really wasn't enough to make Archie like Super Cena....you really had to now make him into Batman. Just....fuck off!

- Is it wrong of me that I'm actually rooting for Dodger?

- Now that's what I'm talking about....

Nana Rose, Penelope Blossom, Dead Jason and....some guy I don't know (is that Claudius)....and a creepy puppet. That's a dream team right there. Is it wrong of me that I hope these hauntings scare Cheryl and Toni to death, like literally?

- And yes, by all means Julian....inhabit Cheryl's body. ANY other personality has to be better than hers!

- It's funny that I should like this puppet more than any character on Riverdale!

- Damn, I feel bad for Hermosa. To move from Miami to that shit town of Riverdale? That's a serious downgrade. Plus, so far I'm on Team Hermosa. Because any team that's against Team Veronica is a team I want to play for!

- Yeah, Jug's conspiracy theories are usually spot on! I forgot that secret power of Jughead, to be able to see connections when others can't. But for some reason now, Betty is sceptical of Jug's theory about his granddad being an author of those books. Meanwhile Betty is investigating her half brother because she thinks he's a serial killer. No hypocrisy there though, right?

- On a side note.....why hasn't FP met or talked with Charles? Isn't FP Charles' father? Isn't Jug his half brother? Why are these family meetings not happening?

- Well, that's someone I thought I'd never see again. Chic!

- Wait....what? Are they actually recalling correctly past storyline history with Chic and Charles? No way!!!

- BAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Okay, first off, Toni asking why Cheryl wasn't at school is funny in and of itself. When are ANY of them at school?!? Second, Cheryl worried about leaving her infant twins with Nana Rose when the ghost of Julian is wandering about? Yeah, Cheryl....that should be your main concern....the ghost! NEVER MIND THAT YOU'RE LEAVING INFANT TWINS IN THE CARE OF A WOMAN WHO CAN BARELY WALK!!!! Why hasn't Alice come to claim her grandchildren yet?

- "You've missed way too much school!"

Like it matters!

- Sigh!

TVD/TO witches are busting a gut laughing at this right now.

- Ya know, Betty's a real fucking piece of work, getting on her high horse and judging Charles and being all suspicious of him. Not saying he's innocent but Betty has participated in the concealment of a dead person her mother killed, has shot and killed her own father, and has donned a black wig and a leather dress to play cam-girl for horny older men on the Internet. Where the hell does she get off on judging Charles for anything?!? Fuck her!

- I'm surprised, with all their throwback technology, that Charles has a polygraph machine. Why not use Doc Brown's mind reading machine since they're so into retro shit.

- Riverdale really is full of stupid, fucking people. These kids are getting into a life of crime....for free pizza? Do they really have no loftier ambitions than that?

- How is it that not enough people in Riverdale know about Archie's youth centre, according to Veronica? Why does Betty have to write about it in a high school newspaper and how in the world would that even help? HE HAD A PRESS CONFERENCE ABOUT IT IN THE LAST EPISODE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Alice even reported about it! It's in fucking RIVERDALE! RIVERDALE IS A TOWN, NOT A CITY! IT'S NOT SOME VAST METROPOLIS THAT NEED A BIG PRESS RELEASE TO GET PEOPLE TO HIS STUPID GYM! WHERE DO THEY THINK THEY ARE....NEW YORK?!? I'm getting a headache with this!

- An infant....swallowed....a ping pong ball! A full grown adult can barely get a ping pong ball into their mouth, let alone swallow one. Then again, these are the two twins who mysteriously floated into the sky rather than be burned by fire.

- I so fucking hate this.

I hate how Ronnie is explaining to Hermione how to be a hostess at her club like Hermione is some kind of teenager starting her first ever job. This is so demeaning.

- And now this.

So not only does she leave two babies in the care of an invalid, but she leaves burning candles EVERYWHERE unattended for no reason at all! Seriously, I just hope the ghost of Julian burns everything to the fucking ground!

- Aunt Cricket....Uncle Bedford....who the hell are these people?

- Yeah, Betty! I hope you're satisfied,you judgemental bitch! Though knowing Riverdale, they'll make it that Betty was right all along and Charles is really Charles Manson or something like that.

- Since when did Riverdale turn into The Originals? Now Aunt Cricket wants to go to the chapel to "visit with the ancestors." Do they give her power like they do in New Orleans?

- Hermione: "Over my dead body!"
Hiram: "That can be arranged."
AHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! I liked that.

I'm actually alright with this. Reason being, it fits. Hermione and Hiram have been at this for YEARS where they have played this game so this kind of reaction from either of them makes sense. It makes sense that Hiram knows how to play Hermione like a fiddle, as much as she might not like it.

In some ways, Hiram reminds me of JR Ewing. I know that's a very OLD reference that a lot of kids won't get and they are missing out because I remember watching reruns of the show Dallas when I was a kid with my mom. While I never got to see all the episodes because it was just reruns, from what I did see I just remember him being the EPITOME of the rich, villainous, manipulative, power hungry lothario who could treat a woman like trash one minute and seduce her into his bed the next. Even as a kid, though I didn't understand the adult references and nuances, I understood that he was a bad guy that always got his way. You'd hate him for it but at the same time, you respected and loved him. If the Riverdale writers were any good, they could have made Hiram into a JR Ewing. Sadly, the Riverdale writers are just not that good.

Just for references sake, here is a collection of JR's best moments. I'm thinking of getting seasons of Dallas because of JR alone. He was such a great villain!

- Ya know, if these kids were really smart, they'd have haggled Ronnie and Archie for not just arcade games and pizza, but for cars, smartphones, clothes......if Ronnie and Archie are so keen on competing, make them really work for it!

- Oh, I do like this. I like how Hiram is getting to Ronnie. Because like Betty, Ronnie has a lot of nerve to be so judgemental about her mother. For all that Hiram did, Ronnie was still willing to do business with him so she should just get off that high horse that Betty and her ride on and just shut up!

- Oh shit! They're actually bringing that back up? They're bringing back Betty's sordid history and Alice's involvement in killing that guy? I love it!

- I really, really hope we get a FP-Charles moment. We have to. They're both heading off together to try and clean up Betty's mess. It's a perfect father-son moment that needs to happen!

- It's an interesting double standard. Ronnie's character can get away with saying "asshat" but cannot get away with saying "asshole." It's strange.

- Well, at least with Dodger knowing about Archie's masked identity, it means that he won't put on that stupid mask anymore.

- Okay, that really sucks!

We deserved an FP-Charles moment. We deserved to see that heartfelt moment between a father and his long-lost son. This is so fucking infuriating the moments they choose NOT to show!

- "Get out of my sight now while I'm still willing to forget that you had the audacity to summon me." I liked that line for some reason. I like Mr. Dupont.

- Go figure that I'd be a big fan of Hermosa. I really am! She's so much less annoying and less hypocritical that Veronica!

- And go figure that I'd be a big fan of Uncle Bedford and Aunt Cricket! I love how they're just getting to Cheryl and are bent on bringing her down and selling off Thistlehouse. I'm definitely on their team too!

- Fucking right!!!

That's what I'm talking about! Dodger and his crew stepping it up a notch with guns blazing! Let's see Super Cena dodge bullets! Actually having said that and knowing this show, I wouldn't be surprised one bit if at some point they make Archie into Neo from the Matrix! Because why not? Logic and reality doesn't exist on this show.

- Oh, Archie is so stupid. So now he's going back to the man who essentially wanted him dead....for a favour? I'm sure Ronnie is just going to be thrilled with that!

- Happy trails, Mr. Chipping!

- Oh shit

So now Toni has just committed murder, it seems. I knew she was stupid for staying with Cheryl. Now, her failure is complete!

- AHA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! I'm not even upset at Charles and Chic being in on a scheme together. I applaud it!

- Noooooo!!! Don't be dead, Dodger. DON'T BE DEAD! WE NEED YOU!!!!

This show sucks so bad, I'm actually rooting for, and fans of, the villainous newcomers than I am for the regular cast. Hermosa, Charles and Chic, Aunt Cricket and Uncle Bedford (well....not anymore I guess), Dodger, Julian's puppet ghost, Mr. Dupont.....all of them are wreaking havoc and making fools of the main characters and I couldn't be happier. I know that at some point, the main characters will prevail in the most ridiculous way possible but for now, I'll revel in their collective misery!

On a side note, I think I know why there has been such an infrequent use of Reggie. I just saw the new trailer for Bad Boys and Reggie (Charles Melton) is in it! Plus, he's filming another movie called Swing so I can see why we don't see that much of Reggie. Still, if they knew he wasn't going to be around much, they shouldn't have given him such a promising storyline with his abusive father only to end it so unbelievably. In essence, Reggie is like the Bonnie of Riverdale. I don't know how anyone from the Riverdale production team has a job given this level of incompetence!