Riverdale - Tangerine

Discussing Ep.

- That's right, Jug. Play by the rules. Of course, you know he won't.

- AHA HA HA HA HA HA.....Ronnie didn't get into Dartmouth. Maybe she's not the genius she thought she was.

- Wow. Way to slag community colleges. Sure, they aren't the expensive educational monoliths that universities are, but they have their benefits too!

- Do they not even have colour photo technology in Riverdale either?

- "People die changing tires on the side of the road, Mr. Jones. At least I'd die with a shred of honour." What a stupid thing to say. Did they not paint Fred Andrews as a hero for sacrificing his life for Shannon Doherty by pushing her out of the way from an oncoming car while changing said tire? And now Archie completely negates that sacrifice with that one line. Well done, you fucking hack!

- Ya know, I'm thinking from earlier before.....didn't FP designate a bunch of Serpents as deputies? Why aren't they going around doing all the dirty work instead of Archie?

- What the fuck?

Is this Jug AND Charles talking to each other? Brother to brother? No set up? No big meeting between these two? Just Jug asking Charles for the FBI's help? It figures!

- That sucks! I wanted to see the footage of Polly freaking out!

- I hope Polly's possessed. THAT at least would be interesting.

- Sigh!

Ronnie addresses her as "abuelita," which means "grandmother." But in the next line, she calls her "Godmother." Godmother in Spanish is "madrina." Can they not even get this right?

- I love how they just came up with this Lodge family recipe for rum out of nowhere. Nowhere in the previous 3 seasons did they even HINT at the idea that the Lodge's became famous for rum production. And if they did, it wasn't noteworthy.

- So I'm guessing someone is calling Cooper women, saying some line that activates the serial killer gene and that's how they're turning into these killing machines all of a sudden. I mean....why the fuck not?

- I've got to admit, Alice looks both sexy and scary at the same time!

- That is such bullshit! Of course, Betty...the genius that she is and the luckiest person in the world....knows how to break Alice's hypnotic state with a mere snap of her fingers! Fuck this show!

- Well, that's one way to get to Hiram....through mom!

- Oh, fuck you, Archie! So, is he now in charge of his dad's construction company too? He's going to fire the foreman JUST BECAUSE he was interested in buying the company? A company that Archie is not even overseeing? Archie shouldn't be in charge of anything....he's too much driven by anger to be competent at anything!

- Yes! Tell me that Evelyn makes an appearance!

- What the fuck is this?

Man, I've never wanted one of Cheryl's stupid schemes to work more than this scheme of poisoning herself to death. All the best, Cheryl!

- Damn it! It was a ruse!

- I fail to see how Archie honours his father's memory in any way by always resorting to violence to get things done. It's like it's the only thing he knows how to do. I'll give massive credit to this show if by the end of it all, Archie turns into a pacifist and learns to handle problems through peace!

- I will say, it's a nice touch of attention to detail to have Cheryl with a spider broach and Penelope with a scorpion broach....both members of the arachnid family!

- "Lunatic child!" I miss Penelope!

- Oh, that's rich, Cheryl! Charging your mother with "gaslighting" when you did the same to Toni! And charging her with murder? Did you and Toni not just kill your uncle recently?

- Fuck! At least FP acknowledges that Fred would not approve one bit of FP and Archie going around and getting into brawls!

- So Dupont did it all legally. He bought the rights to the Baxter Bros. story from Forsythe for $5,000 (which must NOT have been cheap back then) and turned it into a fortune. Seems fair to me!

I'm actually kind of impressed that they deflated this puffed-up heroic journey that Jug went on. I'm happy to see that he turned out be wrong!

- Yes! I missed Evelyn!

- What? So once they're "triggered," they try to kill Dark Betty or anyone named Betty? Don't do it in front of Betty White then! This is up there with contrived plots, I'll give them that! I mean, if this was Edgar's idea, why didn't they employ it before he went into Evel Knievel mode?

- Damn, she looked sexy talking into the phone like that!

- So, saying the word "tangerine" three times will trigger the victims? I've heard saying "Bloody Mary" in the mirror three times in the dark yields unfortunate results too!

- Did Archie just get FP killed? Way to go, Arch! Hope you're happy.

- Shit, it's true! Darla is supposed to be Dodger's mom! THE ACTORS ARE BOTH THE SAME FUCKING AGE!!!!

- Yeah, what a surprise that Archie has no honour by keeping his word and decides to try and end another problem with violence!

- "It wasn't your happiness with the she-goblin that I wanted to destroy." AHA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Penelope always has the best insults.

- What....who is this guy? Is he a part of the cast? He looks familiar.

- LOL! Well done, Hiram! I like how plays. Sending the Columbia rep to Ronnie's bar to see how she operates.

- That is so fucking insulting. Having this guy pretend to be this woman's son. They are both the same age!

I guess it speaks more to her aged appearance and to his youthful looks than anything else!

- Well, you just stepped into it, didn't you Dodger? Because you're dealing with no ordinary teenager. You're dealing with....

- See what I mean? Dodger hit Archie full on with a metal plate and Archie just shrugged it off!

- I really hope Ronnie's song and dance left a sour taste in the Columbia's rep's mouth because she's just a stripper pole away from being an exotic dancer!

- Okay, first of all, does Ronnie not need some kind of license to make rum in the first place? I'm sure Hiram would have stopped that. Second, I applaud Hiram for getting a patent...but threatening to sue Ronnie for all that she has? She has NOTHING! It's pretty much all his anyway.

- "Underage party girl, Veronica Luna." My sentiments exactly!

- Ya know, if I were Jug, I'd be pissed at Archie for nearly getting my dad killed!

- Sigh!

Ya know, I feel bad for Dilton. He built that bunker. He made it. And now that he's gone, everyone and their mother is using it. The least they could do is call it Dilton's Bunker!

- Oh, for fuck's sakes. Going back and stopping the birth of Dark Betty? Doesn't she have a serial killer gene? Isn't Dark Betty a part of her genetics? It's not psychological, it's genetic! You can't kill it if it's genetic! These people can't even keep their canon straight!

- "Go and play."

First of all, the cat looks already dead. Secondly, telling young Betty to just go and play and essentially leave your dying cat to lay there and die a slow and painful death rather than take it to a fucking veterinarian is worse than killing it with a rock! At least killing it was a mercy killing.

- Oh, of course. Columbia likes people with good stories and Ronnie obviously has a good story. Bullshit! She has money and you just want her money, so just leave it at that!

- Ya know what...

Cheryl looks so much better without all the clown makeup. She looks far, far more sympathetic too.

- Damn! I'll give them credit for acknowledging that Archie is so far off the mark from what Fred would want him to be. There may be hope yet.

- LOL! Why do they look like they're from Hogwarts?

- I'm curious to know why Cheryl didn't do Jason's funeral...viking-style. Push him off into the river and then fire a flaming arrow at his casket. THAT would have been infinitely cooler!

- Wow, what a close family the Andrews clan is! Fred had a brother he never bothered to tell Archie about!

- So....Betty activated Dark Betty? Are we going to get the return of the black wig and dominatrix outfit too?

This was typical Riverdale....lots of contrived plots and stuff that made no sense. Why did they decide now to cleanse Cheryl of her obsession with Jason? Seemed kind of arbitrary that they did that. They seemingly ended the Baxter Bros. mystery for Jug, and the Dodger storyline came to an end rather abruptly too. So I'm assuming, come the new year, we'll get a whole new set of storylines that have little or nothing to do with these storylines and there will be no coherency whatsoever.

I will just sit here and enjoy one last time watching Evelyn speaking all sexy-like into the phone!